'Get off the crack and get a job'

It's officially been one week since I last pestered you with an irrelevant life update - so here comes round two...

As we all know - it's the silly season. There's trees, fairy lights and awkward work Christmas parties where you socialise outside of the office for one night only. However, the only thing more uncomfortable than hooking up with Belinda from accounts after the 'secret santa' game, is working in retail during December...

Combine long hours, Mariah Carey on loop, ridiculous requests, and a brass band that plays 'Oh Come All Ye Faithful' every hour, on the hour. Shake it all up and what do you get? A cocktail of stress, bitter disappointment and resentment. It's the cocktail I'm calling a 'Harvey Wallbanger'. As in banging my head on a wall until it's all over.

You get the picture, it's not exactly the 'Most Wonderful Time of the Year'. I'm not going to go into too much detail, as my dear friend Katie Scotcher has pretty much summed up my perspective on the holiday season here.

It's strange though. I'm normally one to scream 'All I want for Christmas is You' whilst covering every possible surface with tinsel.

What's that Megan Trainer?

♪Who's that sexy thing, I see over there?' 'It's Andrew - In a Christmas sweater!'♪

However this year something has changed. My inner Grinch has started to kick in, but why? Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the first official negative of moving away. As it turns out, having some money is always a good idea when you're moving cities. It's quite nice to have some cash to splash on those little pleasure items like toilet paper, rent or power. As a result of this cosmic realisation, I've been sentenced to spending the holiday season at my local shopping mall. Even worse - I work in hospitality. 'Worse?' I hear you ask. Definitely worse. People tend to get quite grumpy when they haven't had their morning cup of coffee. As a result, even the tiniest of hiccups can turn into the biggest of hissy-fits...

'What do you mean you don't have coconut milk? That's discrimination.'

'I ordered my coffee thirty seconds ago. I have places to be and an aesthetic to maintain!'

'I specifically asked for there to be a love-heart drawn on the top of my coffee. This one is not anatomically correct. WHERE ARE THE VENTRICLES?'

Okay, there might've been some slight exaggeration there. Although, this week I was told to 'get off the crack and get a job', by a lovely customer who shall remain nameless.

I've always been interested by the way people treat others - particularly in retail.

You know how there's a saying about you should 'watch how a man treats his mother, because that's how he'll treat you'? I propose an alteration to this mantra:

'Watch how a man treats the person at the counter, because that's how he'll treat you'.

It's very easy to look down on the person taking your coffee order, clearing your tray away or cleaning the public bathrooms. You pay for a service for which they are hired to do. Unfortunately it's even easier to be rude to them because 'it's part their job'.

For example, a few years ago a friend and I went to McDonald's for quick meal before a movie. We were eating our deliciously underwhelming burgers when a group of teenagers of a similar age sat at a nearby table. Have you ever watched a group of lions tearing apart an animal carcass? It's not exactly what you'd call 'clean-eating'. Well, once the teens had finished their David-Attenborough-worthy attack, they simply stood up and walked off, leaving trash all over their table. Not a single thought for the poor cleaners whose job it was to effectively complete a crime-scene cleanup on what looked like a comeback tour by Jack-the-Ripper.

Their defence? 'It's their job to clean up our mess'.

I'd like to point out that it's the police's job to fight crime and solve murders. So following that logic, we might as well give the police something to do since that's what they're being paid for. Anyone fancy coming around for a game of Russian roulette?

This has gotten long-winded, and I feel like I need to go shake my walking-stick and some young hoodlums who're on my lawn...

It's easy to get caught up in the silly season. I totally understand it. You're under pressure to get gifts, buy food and catch up with relatives. But maybe just spare a thought for the person who's trying their best to make ends meet on the other side of the counter...

Andrew x